i've always wanted to be better then by sisters.
i've always wanted to feel how is it like to be successful and achieved something in life
i've wanted to know and find out what are my strength cause so far i've only known my weakness
i've always wanted to see my parent happy as a result of my ahievements but i've never make them happy
i've always wanted to share and tell everything with my eldr sister but she's too busy even for her own sister
i've always wanted to try out something that some people say i couldn't do it but they could

let me tell something.

I've always wanted to be a doctor when i grow up.
I wanted to help my granny improve her health
I wanted to help my mum
Thats what i want

i didn't want to disappoint them anymore.

natasha khun: eh apasal nari kau tibe-tibe balik rumah?
me: eh mcm tk suker jer..ni kan rumah aku..aku nyer pasal ar aku nak balik ke tak.

natasha khun just gave me the whatever look. HAHA!

Well, tonight i'm going to 'migrate' again. Not staying over my house. Mum asked me to come back this friday caused i've to accompany her this coming saturday. For something important.

Looks like i can't go out with my friends this saturday. But i'm alright.

Accompanied uma today for rebornding. Wow. There was one thing that i have to say. I think i'm patient. Caused the rebornding procedure took about like 4 to 7+ pm. Uma was like..'Omg'.
But it was pretty nice. I did practically nothing down there besides reading magazines and mesmerizing the rebornding procedures. People down there thought that i'm day-dreaming caused my eyes was fixed to Uma's hair when they did the rebornding. Wow. The rebornding procedures was much more different from mine as in when i first did my rebornding. I think MY rebornding missed 2 steps. I guess so. Well different shops did different things. Not all are the same.

By the time Uma finished her rebornding, the sky was getting darker. Uma was like 'damn'!

After rebornding, we went to tp central caused Uma need to buy food for her mum. Both of us planning to eat first before that at fork&spoon but since Uma need to rush home caused she's afraid that her mum would be getting angry, i decided that it's better that we had our dinner at our respective homes.

By the time i reach Bishan, mum called. As usual..mums nowadays. She would like me to help her with something important. So yeaaa...headed home, ate my dinner and helped her.

That's all for today.

I guess that life right now had been quite hectic huh? well...is that so? ok whatever. Just didn't want to dwell on those kinds of things over here.

East Coast cycling was fun fun and a real fun. Went there with sharmila and uma. And uma was a real joker. It was awesome. I can't even the remember the last time that i went there with my whole bunch of family.

Well so the first thing that comes into my mind when i step at the east coast park was like...the beach? HAHAHA. What the three of us did was actually climbing up onto that big big rock...i don't know what was the name of that thing, it was where we could sit down on it and at the same time mesmerizing the sea?ocean? i think its the sea. HAHHA. After about how many minutes? hours? the three of us went to rent bicycles. I was shocked that uma actually didn't know how to ride a bike. But it was ok beb. Not only you. Some other people also don't .HAHAHA. So what we did was... Shar and Uma actually rent a double sit bike. Or what did it called? A couple's bike? hahaaha. I dont know. But it was quite cool to me. Off we go riding and riding and riding. And OPPSSSS.!!! WE actually exceeded the time limit. All of us were like...WHAT??!! SHIT!!

HAHHAHA. It was only 15 minutes late. Well...i got to tell you guys that...of course i met some cute and good-looking guys along the way while i'm cycling. Hhhahhaa. What do expect? East Coast what! HAHHA. Everything was superb but not this part. NAH AR!

I was cycling beside uma and sharmila's bike and i think the right hand side of the road was empty caused we were cycling on the left. Like duhh! I mean there's people cycling on the right but not too many. This part pisses me off. Like A bit. Or should i say ALOT. So yea..we were cycling and......... there comes this three pairs of i don't know how to how addressed them. Mats?? Minas?? I guess so. I saw with my own bare eyes, there were like ALOT of EMPTY spaces on the right side of the track. They really and stubbornly didn't want to MOVE of the right track. So what they SARCASTICALLY DID was that they PURPOSELY RING THEIR BELL OR WHAT IS IT CALL THE BICYCLE BELL CONTINUOUSLY towards us...they were so close behind us. SO SO closed. And they purposely did that. How rude. At first, i panic caused i was about to lose my balance as i made my way up the small hill track. Shar and Uma were about to fall too. I SERIOUSLY SAW there were like alot of EMPTY SPACES on the right track. Even if it didn't...do they have to continuously horn their bikes..like some kind of Dumb ass bullshit.

Finally, i move to the far left and they went passed by me as if nothing STUPID SHIT has gone wrong. One or two of the girs actually gave me that sinister smile!!!...And i saw that Uma and Sharmila were about to lose their BALANCE because of them. Please la..for goodness sake. YOU GUYS ARE NOT some kind of BIKE-CHAMPIONS or something. With their BIMBOTIC girlfriends sitting behind them. I'm not sure wether uma and shar saw or realized that. But i did.

Such a PAIN in the eye. And please..I dont ENTERTAINed people like them. Or best still i don't even have time to laid my eyes on them. Sorry to say this..but I'm NOT that type of girl or should i say girlsss.

Poor uma and shar. At last they have to walk like a penguins. AHHAHHHA! So yeaa...thats it!...

After cycling...we went to view the clothes there..and finally we're off to tp interchange caused uma and shar wanted to buy something. So yea. When everything was all done, i took the mrt and went to j8 to buy my stuff and made my way towards home.

Wonderful day actually. Excluding 'that' part.

Heh..that's just a random pic..caused i'm bored right now...haha...

Well, so yesterday was like a real fun. Met up with my two besties again, siva and shar. We went to the airport to send off slyvie, our dearest classmate. I wish her all the best. After we send off slyvie, we rush down to the mrt station. As soon as we reached there, oopssss. I think i held everyone there. HAHAHAHA! my mrt card was insufficient and siva and shar missed the train because of me. HHAHAAH! sorry bebs! ahhaha! k then...while waiting for the mrt, the two besties including aj was there.. all of us were like squeezing in just to make sure our pictures were FULLY taken at my pathetic handphone camera. Hhhahahha! that was niceeee...k fine. When we were in the train...something happened.....to shar...She desperately wanted to use the toilet...k fine...k i think i shouldn't elaborate that part down here...HAHHA

And and ermmm....along the way in the mrt, i think i feel a little bit uncomfortable..there was this guy. A teenage guy. I think he is my age. I think he THINKS that he is some kind of edward cullen from twilight. I was standing not to far and not to near from him...actually its kinda close cause the mrt was actually quite packed. I was giggling and laughing with my crazy friends...and when i suddenly to him...he actually WAS staring at me as if he had never seen a girl before..and that stare was REALLY REALLY REALLY scary..i mean he IS not bad-looking and everything BUT he scares me off. First thing that comes into my mind. It WAS a turn-off for me. Finally he GET OUT of the train first.

Lastly, i got nth much to say. i'm just enjoying life right now and i've still got much more to learn

So i guess that my holiday was fun? Yes it really is. It was really fun getting together with my lovable family, relatives and my cousins do rock my socks. I wonder when will we get together again. Maybe the next holiday yea? yea absolutely. All of us are planning to go to pulau just to relax ourselves. It will be a great great fun and real exciting. Well... save money cousins!!! luv luv!

So today was fun. Played with my two besties and went jogging with them. As to what i've said, i seriously need to do some real exercise. But just now was more of like us playing and catching each other. Played badminton...but the wind was strong enough huh? Shar was like..''Can you just give up playing badminton"..And i'm like''No!" Again the wind blew...and Shar said the same thing..and i said ''No!" again. At last Shar and me just quit playing badminton. Siva was cloud-tanning and at the same time mesmerizing the clouds. Haha! It was such a waste not to try the i dont know what is it called..the ya know...two straight long thingy...its basically to train the arm muscle...but we didnt do that, instead..we played around with it. Just like what kids do. And yeah. We did.

So was planning to go for a jog again..maybe or just mayb..this coming thurs..when i've settled my holiday clothes and stuff. Maybe or just maybe this wednesday i'm heading down to the somerset with this two besties. If they couldn't make it theeennn....i probably have to go to the nearby shopping centre.heh.

Hmmm..hope that my holiday will be a blast.

Today had been a really tough day for me. Glad that nothing crucial happened.

So yea..now its already the month of february and i'm counting the days to the backstreet boys concert ( as if i can go) but whatever..i'm still counting on the days. They are one of those boybands that i've known that are still successful till today. I'm one of their fans since when i was like....eight? ten? eleven? i dont know. What i know now is i still love their songs and yea...they really do rock my socks!

How i wish someone whose kind enough will text me or best enough give me a call and tell me that they'll be treating me to the backstreet boys concert. Well...dream on sery....dream on....

The last time i check it out that the cheapest price is 100 over bucks...which was still ex for me. How i wish i could SEARCH for a part-time job but the situation couldnt let me. GRHHHH!!!

And i still have to buy another clothes to go jb..probably going tomorrow with natasha khun IF she wants to accompany me...if not maybe it would be on monday. Mum dislike me using money from my bank so i've to use up my savings. GRHHH!! i still need to buy contact lens on probably march? early april? when i'm about to enter school.

and lastly i hope that i could do something different to my hair? i guess so?

Sometimes things happen for a reason and i've got to agree with that. Life isn't as easy as i thought it is when i was younger. I used to think that it could only takes one hand to clap but no it aint true. It takes two hand to clap. I used to think that what you really want doesn't come just like that, sometimes it takes years and you need to have the perseverance. I used to think that i could get/handle anything by my own but no, i need somebody and that somebody is none other than your own family/relatives. I used to wonder why some people are always facing real hardship in their lives and never get to experience the real happiness and joy? the reason is because they are strong enough to battle against all odds so that they'll become an inspiration to others one day.

And i've learnt that there's no elevator to success, you always have to take the stairs. Don't always look down on people whom you think are less smarter than you...cause sometimes there are genius and more experienced than you are.

As to what i've known...the Greatest barrier to success is the fear of failures and nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.

cuzzies and sis had noticed somthing about me when i sleep. Grinding tooth. It had lasted for quite a couple of days. sis said that it could be due to stress/anxiety..but nahh..stress what eh..i've absolutely no idea...well apart from that....been having weird dreams...about...i dont know...like strange stuff....and i think i had a nightmare yesterday....and plus i want to go to school like asap...i'm bored like really bored.....wanted to work but the situation couldnt let me i think. well applied for soooo many jobs before also didnt get to work.

well back to the music world...i think 2010 songs arent that nice? or that superb? ok...only for some songs yeah.

and BACKSTREET BOYS ARE COMING TO S'PORE ON THE 28 OF FEBRUARY AT SUNTEC CONVENTION HALL!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!! wanted to go but need save up alot of money plus most of my friend didnt really like bsb so didnt want to go alone....tkder kaki tk best ( heh)
thanks to natasha khun....

i dont care of what other people have to say to me. i dont care if they look down on me saying that i cant join this and i cant join that cause they think that i'm not strong enough.. but think again...all years of my life i've been failing and i'm strong enough physically and mentally to forget the past and continue with my life..all my 18 years of life. i'm glad i'm able to do that...thanks to mom who always encourage me. and all my life..i've received enough critisicm from other ppl about me...but i dont care...its all in the mind..

so now..i wanna do something that i like even though its tough i'll be able to make it through...nobody knows myself better than i do.

other people have to just give us comments..they cant do more than that other then judging us...the rest is up to us wether to listen to them or to go on persuing what we want. seriously..if they were me..they will just give up halfway and i'm serious

as what i've said before Words Is Just Words...that cant bring you down.